why do i always do this

i feel like sometimes i want to be to many different people all at once.

i have so many personalities its hard to keep up with myself.

somedays i spend half the day pondering who i want to be,

and what i want to become, but then find myself always falling back

into the same routine over and over again.

i want to be free and independent, but is that just my inner teen angst 

rebellious side of me pissing off my parents, because some days i just want

someone to take care of me and appreciate me, self centered arent i, i guess

everyone needs a little love, even alexander supertramp needed it in the end.

i need to stop living the fairytale in my head and grow up and accept responsibility 

i just dont feel like im ready to yet. i feel so young inside.

im probably not the only person in the world that feels this way,

but its nice to exclude yourself sometimes, smoke a cigarette and over analyse every

little word in all my favourite songs, soak up the chemically ill feeling it gives me

and try and upset myself. ive always had a problem with dealing with my emotions

and the repercusions of my own actions always making excuses for myself.

or maybe my mum has just fed that to me so many times ive convinced myself its real.

in my spare time i like to bring everything to life and give them names.

from now on this laptop will be called ernie, hello ernie. hello abby.

ernie say hello to everyone at home, hello fuckers, come now ernie dont be rude.

in conclusion.

i would hate to be normal.

life is so much more interesting this way